Well since it has been a while once again. Turns out I’m really bad at this blogging thing, but I know that when I need to rant it will always be here. It’s a pretty good outlet for my problems.
As it has been a good year and a half since I typed here last I should probably update everyone on what my life is like at the moment. Subject to change at any time.
It’s summertime here in northeastern Pa. I just graduated from High School a few months ago and this Fall I am headed to Delaware Valley University to study Animal Science/ Pre-Professional. Heading towards that Veterinarian track I’ve always hoped to pursue.
My love life consists of one man, which if you know me is quite impressive. Not that there hasn’t been a lot of guys between the last time I posted to know, but catching everyone up would take a while. Maybe I’ll do it someday. Just not right now. My current boyfriend of almost 11 months now, Tucker, who I believe I could love for the rest of my life is still my new infatuation. As this is my longest standing relationship I can say that I truly am in love with this boy and that there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do for him. Although, we fight a lot more than we probably should and we say things we don’t mean, he’s my whole world. I don’t know what I would do without his love, support, and smile.
I met Tucker at my now ex-boyfriends Prom where he was attending with his ex as well. We said hi to each other, as our exes knew each other and were introducing us. Other than that we had no contact until about the end of August when he added me on Snapchat and started flirting. At this time I was single for almost a couple months now, but he was still with the girl he had gone to that Prom with back in May. He came to me about the problems they were having and we got to be pretty good friends. Eventually he asked me out to dinner and well the rest is history (and a story for another time).
Thats a quick rap up on what has been going on in my life and I appreciate if anyone read through it all. :p
So there’s this guy. No, I’m not talking about my boyfriend. Just hold on and keep reading before you start freaking out. I’m not a cheater… I’m really not… well not yet.
I think that’s the worst sentence I could have ever wrote. I don’t even have feelings for the guy I started talking about so the whole “Cheating” topic will be saved for another blog.
So anyway there’s this guy. My Mom used to babysit him and his older brother when they were babies. I guess you could say they’re family friends to a certain extent. I knew him from 4-H, our families, and the cabin we go to sometimes.
He messaged me back in early March on Messenger, because we were Facebook friends. It was kinda out of the blue and it was just small talk. I didn’t think anything of it really, because he had a girlfriend and we we’re always just nice to each other. He asked for my snap chat because he wanted more people to snap so I gave it to him and again thought nothing of it.
Not long after snapping back and forth I kinda picked up a flirty tone and just tried to tell myself that he was being friendly. That lasted for less than an hour until he told me that I was beautiful and that he’s always had a thing for redheads…. HOLD UP… He has a girlfriend of like 2 or 3 years that I also know. I didn’t want to get into this and it kinda grossed me out. He’s not that good looking and not to mention he’s like FOUR YEARS OLDER THAN ME!
I quickly reminded him that he had a girlfriend and that he was being weird. He really didn’t care that he was in a relationship and he continues to still talk to me like he is single. He has talked about one day dating me and not to mention his girlfriend LIVES WITH HIM. Maybe I’m overreacting I mean it’s all talk right?
Well a couple months ago he tried to talk me into sneaking out at like midnight to go fishing with him… First of all I’m not a bad kid I don’t sneak out, so I told him that I didn’t feel like getting into trouble and that it was cold and I was tired, but he wouldn’t give up. So eventually I just told him I had a boyfriend even though I didn’t at the time.
Let’s just say he backed off for like a week and he is already talking to me again. I can’t make it all seem like his fault because I still reply and talk to him, but I try and stay far away from flirting with him. I know he will be at the Fair I’m showing at with his girlfriend and he always talks about hanging out and I’m kinda worried about what he’ll try.
I know that if I wanted him to stop talking to me I could easily end it… I like the attention though and I don’t want it to be awkward between our families. I know I have a problem… Well I think this is where I stop typing. Sorry for the length.
– Yours Truly
It’s hard to feel understood as a teenager or even an adult really… I guess things never change. I live in a small town on a dairy farm… It’s a small town, but not too much of it is actually rural.
I’ve always wanted a best friend who lives the way I do and understands me and can contribute to a conversation that starts with “We had a cow freshen yesterday and she ended up with milk fever.” (Terrible IK). All I get are blank stares from my friends and I mean it’s not really their fault they weren’t raised like me.
I have one friend who can somewhat follow along with the jargon, but then when she gets lost she just pretends to know what I’m talking about. She has a barn on her property that only has animals in it when they raise them to show them at the fair, it’s surrounded by fields someone else farms and she calls their lawnmower a tractor… Now I understand that country isn’t where you live and what you where because I dress up to go to school and when I’m with friends, but something about her trying to call herself country and a farmer just ticks me off. I guess it’s really because she will never understand the blood, sweat, and tears that’s put into the back breaking work of a farming family to just get by. But, she is the closest thing that I’ve got to what I’ve always wanted. Again I’ll say that it sucks the only people I can talk to about this is my family. I kinda can’t wait to leave here and find my kinda people.
This whole post would probably make you shake your head if you knew the kinda social status I have at school. You’d think someone like me would be an outsider, but I’m not. I hang out with who you’d call the “popular girls” in school and I know others would die for that kinda standing, and I love all my friends I really do… I just wish they could relate more to me.
Anyone else out there like me? It’s funny that beginning this post I really didn’t know where I was going with it but I guess I figured it out. Sorry to bore you all with my thoughts but it’s nice to put them out there finally and just be able to write.
– Yours Truly
So… first blog post. I really don’t know where to start. I guess the only reason I’m awake at 1:25 A.M. starting a blog is because I was searching through Netflix and stumbled upon the movie Ask Me Anything. I guess you could say it hit me in the feels. So hear I am… I guess a 16 year old girl has nothing better to do on a Summer night. Well, I definitely don’t because my boyfriends at basic for the whole Summer. For those of you who don’t know what basic is, I’m talking about basic training since he joined the National Guard. The only way I get to talk to him is through writing letters… very old school I know, but also cute. Trying to tell myself I’ll be okay until the end of August without him as I lay in bed wearing the hoodie he gave me, listening to sad music, and starting a blog. I’m not sure how much you’ve really learned about me so far, but if you’re still reading I guess you want to learn more. I live in a small town on a dairy farm… I’m sure I just lost about half of you but that’s okay. I play high school varsity soccer and have lettered both years of my varsity career. I’ve been playing since I can remember and I’ve been told that I’m really good and that I have the skill to play in College. I also show at our local fair which starts in Julyyyyyy!!! Well now that it 2:18 I might as well try and sleep.